Every year, I think about you. Not too many times, but consistently, a few times. And each time I am not sure how I should feel. There is a vague sense of loss, a subtle tinge of abandonment, a painful realisation of independence. But mostly, there is just a numb nothingness. Who were you? I am not even sure I remember your face. Your smile, yes. Your eyes, too. But in pieces, in context. I can't imagine your reaction in a new situation. I can't see you as you may have become. I can only see the frozen moments that I have embalmed in my head. I wonder if you feel the need to see me. If you imagine what it may feel like to talk to me now. If you wish you had known me all this time. If I am even a real person to you. If you have convinced yourself that I don't exist. Perhaps it isn't as simple as moving on, as erasing, as avoiding. Maybe it's an intense removal, a complete denial. I don't hate you. I don't love you. It's an absence of anything ta...
Be careful, Zoya. Correlation is not the same thing as Causality :-)
ReplyDeleteI know.... But the difference is slight enough to trick a stupid brain :)
ReplyDeleteHmmm... it can trick even a very intelligent mind. This needs a live conversation... there are some serious counter-examples. But in the scenario of your blog (assuming I have understood the abstraction correctly ;-), you are totally right.
ReplyDeleteyes, this does deserve a live conversation... when you come here, we shall discuss this in detail!
ReplyDeleteI WOULD LIKE TO BE A SILENT OBSERVER....promise i shall remain quiet!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteDB