For the first time in the last 24 hours, I was finally able to feel some amount of relief. Even though it hurt like hell, I joyously left my wheelchair and exchanged it for the glider in the NICU. I had been carrying around my blue blanket and with it under me, I almost felt okay. Until Rumi began to cry. And I realised that the new nurse managing him was a man! I mean, I am all for equality, but the first thought in my head - how would he be able to help me breastfeed? I am already so lost, where will we go from here? Secret #2 - Gender has zero correlation with empathy. I tried to be vulnerable. Sharing with Arjun, the male nurse, why I was so shaky. What all had happened in the last 24 hours. How my quasi medical background made it worse. How I half understood everything and felt lost anyway. At first, he seemed unmoved. Then, as I tried endlessly - perhaps for an hour or so - to get Rumi to feed, Arjun walked up to me. And he offered simple suggestions. Had I had a chance to lea