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Showing posts with the label loneliness

Rollercoaster - Part 5

After what felt like an endless night, we woke up relaxed. And then my brain panicked. They hadn't called from the NICU since 5.45 am. Rumi was waking ever 2-3 hours on an average. So at 9.30 am that could have only meant that they didn't get the memo from the night nurses and demand feeding was again under contention.  Thankfully mom had come back to the hospital and I felt better when Lohit offered to go to the NICU to speak to the nurses and also understand if and when they would shift us to Paediatrics so we could be with Rumi in the same room. Lohit wrote to me that he had met the Paediatrician and they were open to shifting us. However they weren't sure if they would be able to find a room. By now I had begun to question my decision to not buy a breast pump and not read up enough on this topic. So when when hospital offered to get me to meet a lactation consultant, we jumped at the opportunity. She helped me understand how to pump and also got me to do it in front of

Unsaid

It was unsaid He was gone [Last night he was here And things seemed alright But happiness doesn’t last It vanished with the night] She cried They cried not together Each to his own [ He was the man of the house And now they felt unprotected, Forlorn] She was crossing by their room And heard a muffled cry It broke her heart But she only sighed [Personal pain Weighs far more] Walked past the door Walked past her child Guilt glistened in her eyes Nothing more to say [Thought: he was selfish Leaving them alone] It breaks her heart He just comes and goes Just when they move on The past knocks at their door [it a sad painting together yet lonesome] Last night He came on impulse Took them to dinner Leaving her at home [She brings them up He takes them away The pain is hers The pleasure all his] She glances at her driveway Sees him walking away And he looks back His tear stricken face [Both with tears Weeping all alone]

Together, Alone

Eyes that look not at, but through E ars that hear their own silent voices Words that speak and caress only the speaker Minds that dream shallow thoughts of selfish destruction Lonely crowd each to his own living his death