Monday, 29 November 2010

Double meaning

Do you ever feel like you are having two simultaneous conversations with someone? One that is really being said and one that is almost said but kept away?

Lately I struggle so much with double meanings that I myself don't know if I am listening at all or I am recreating everything. One moment I hear something you have not said and another moment you say something that brings me crashing down. 

Strange as it may sound, I want to believe that we really are having two conversations. That each meaningless word means something. That each silence contains a million sentences. That you really are saying all those things that I "almost" hear. 

Unfortunately I never know. After each goodbye I am left wondering. On most nights I settle the matter by reconciling my ability to imagine with my ability to be rational. But then there are nights like today when settlement isn't possible. Nights when imagination triumphs.

9 comments:

  1. I had a meeting with Amrita Pritam once (only once, over ten years ago). She said something that she claimed to be a key insight of her life, "It is when a conversation is in concrete, un-ambigious words that it is most ambivalent; abstractions and metaphors don't have that suffering." I have thought about this many times since then. And I still don't agree. Your earlier blog in which you want to "shake someone..." is a much better approach. It leads to ONE of the two outcomes: either a 'single conversation' emerges, or you conclude that the other person does NOT CARE to talk to you. They want to have a near-life experience; Life, per se, is too scary for them.

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  2. I agree with you on your disagreement with Amrita Pritam :) However, this still is the easier approach...!

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  3. By the way, for whatever it is worth..i completely agree with Amrita Pritam....it definately hurts far more when it is said in concrete unambiguos words...you can save some hurt by giving the other person the benefit of doubt in metaphorical converstaion....however the former is a far better mode of conversation...who has the time, energy or patience to figure out double meanings....which Zoya, i agree, do exist all the time...and need to be watched out for ......abstract is good for poetry,blogs...;-).....But in real life shaking someone up and talking straight is easier even if it hurts....it can be put behind and you can move on..........but the ambiguous keeps you wondering and lingers all the time....!!
    DB

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  4. Naha, concrete conversation have a specific start and end. Ambiguity on the other hand, could hurt forever.

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  5. Zoya, I am going to mention this post on my blog. You my friend are the thought stealer, also a title stealter as can be seen in a previous post :P.
    But, seriously, I feel the same way often and instead of replying/ reacting to the post here, I am going to put up a post on this in my own blog, linking it to this one. That's okay I hope?

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  6. Ofcourse. I look forward to reading it :)

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  7. http://riddhikapoor.blogspot.com/2010/12/double-meaning.html

    :)

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  8. Zoya, why haven't I been reading this? Oh, I hear you.

    Keep writing. Please. You know you are awesome, that you quit thumb sucking and non-vegetarian food is testimony to that.

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  9. Thank you for reading Aanchal. Glad you like it :)

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