You know how there are some days that take you up and down memory lane so fast that you lose your breath?
Today was one of those for me. If I look back at the last few hours and try to pin down life-changing, landmark moments, perhaps there were none. Yet, there was so much on my mind today that I don't know where or how to begin documenting all my thoughts.
So I guess this is going to be one more random rambling, with no end or beginning.
1) School friends are friends forever. Today after years I actually sat down for coffee with a really old friend. It felt wonderful to be with someone who's seen you grow up. While I sat there, it felt so comfortable and normal. Like we had been meeting everyday. It felt like nothing had changed in the last few years. Just like always, we were still discussing boys and our families and movies. Perhaps the only thing that changed is that from gossiping about school friends we were discussing our colleagues. Also, instead of going on a walk, we decided to drive to Saket and have coffee. Pretty much felt like class eight. And yet, we have grown up so much. We have learnt from life, become slightly cynical, realistic. However, when we sat there, we were still two little girls with dreams for tomorrow. Nobody else makes me feel that much at ease as a friend from school does.
2) I have known this for a while, but something reiterated it for me today. I hate it when people change their minds. HATE. I thought, maybe over the years I'll learn to deal with this side of me. But I haven't. I still get completely annoyed and sulk when people change plans last minute. Not that I don't like spontaneity. Its just that when I plan things with someone, my brain has a strange way of getting attached to the plan. It might be something as silly as watching a movie with my mom or something as big as planning a trip. Both annoy me equally when they don't work out. I feel let down. And I have a way of shutting down for a while. Sort of like a brain freeze. I know one of these days I'll have to deal with this side of me. But for now, I simply sulk and make a mental note never to get attached to a similar plan again.
3) The one person I will always be protective of is my little brother. No matter how much I might fight with him, it still really hurts to see him sad. And I know he's the one person I would kill for. Him and I have a strange relationship. We can spend an entire evening together without saying too much. But there is this silent love that constantly flows. We also have strange nostalgic things that we do together. Like listening to Rockstar each time we go over the DND with our windows down. Or just gossiping about everyone else! My little brother will always own the biggest part of my heart.
4) It takes very long to fall for someone. Every little moment as you judge someone, as you listen to them, you fall a little, sometimes a lot, and then you jump back to reality. Sometimes you fall right back. But once you are done, it only takes someone else to make you move on. It takes forever to get to a point of complete devotion. Unfortunately, it only takes a fresh breath to get completely distracted.
Thats all for now. Hopefully tomorrow will be a less confusing day!
Today was one of those for me. If I look back at the last few hours and try to pin down life-changing, landmark moments, perhaps there were none. Yet, there was so much on my mind today that I don't know where or how to begin documenting all my thoughts.
So I guess this is going to be one more random rambling, with no end or beginning.
1) School friends are friends forever. Today after years I actually sat down for coffee with a really old friend. It felt wonderful to be with someone who's seen you grow up. While I sat there, it felt so comfortable and normal. Like we had been meeting everyday. It felt like nothing had changed in the last few years. Just like always, we were still discussing boys and our families and movies. Perhaps the only thing that changed is that from gossiping about school friends we were discussing our colleagues. Also, instead of going on a walk, we decided to drive to Saket and have coffee. Pretty much felt like class eight. And yet, we have grown up so much. We have learnt from life, become slightly cynical, realistic. However, when we sat there, we were still two little girls with dreams for tomorrow. Nobody else makes me feel that much at ease as a friend from school does.
2) I have known this for a while, but something reiterated it for me today. I hate it when people change their minds. HATE. I thought, maybe over the years I'll learn to deal with this side of me. But I haven't. I still get completely annoyed and sulk when people change plans last minute. Not that I don't like spontaneity. Its just that when I plan things with someone, my brain has a strange way of getting attached to the plan. It might be something as silly as watching a movie with my mom or something as big as planning a trip. Both annoy me equally when they don't work out. I feel let down. And I have a way of shutting down for a while. Sort of like a brain freeze. I know one of these days I'll have to deal with this side of me. But for now, I simply sulk and make a mental note never to get attached to a similar plan again.
3) The one person I will always be protective of is my little brother. No matter how much I might fight with him, it still really hurts to see him sad. And I know he's the one person I would kill for. Him and I have a strange relationship. We can spend an entire evening together without saying too much. But there is this silent love that constantly flows. We also have strange nostalgic things that we do together. Like listening to Rockstar each time we go over the DND with our windows down. Or just gossiping about everyone else! My little brother will always own the biggest part of my heart.
4) It takes very long to fall for someone. Every little moment as you judge someone, as you listen to them, you fall a little, sometimes a lot, and then you jump back to reality. Sometimes you fall right back. But once you are done, it only takes someone else to make you move on. It takes forever to get to a point of complete devotion. Unfortunately, it only takes a fresh breath to get completely distracted.
Thats all for now. Hopefully tomorrow will be a less confusing day!
one thing i had to comment on is, us humans might know each and everything thing so well.
ReplyDeletewhat means to us, what causes us to drift or what causes us to hold on. but just the fact of recollecting our thoughts on what we are we term it "CONFUSED".
well i hope u consistently feel such confusing days, i think its fun.
True, such confusion is fun. But not for too long. I like such days only if they happen randomly and end quickly :)
ReplyDeleteBtw, it would be great if you could also leave your name with the post :P
well, if anonymous type names keep coming in randomly, its an exciting confusion too..
ReplyDeletelove u Zoya... i think it was long overdue... ;)
ReplyDeletei am on the verge of disallowing anonymous comments on my blog. It annoys me too much..
ReplyDeleteMegha, love you too :)
Love it... something so day-to-day and crisp. I was almost getting used to the (constantly evolving) syntax and semantics of the abstract Zoya. Thanks for this breather.
ReplyDeleteAS - the de-anonymized ASnonymous
Thank you AS. Glad you like it :)
ReplyDelete1) wow - loved it - cynical no , realistic, practical and smart comes with experiences and working - maybe.
ReplyDelete2):-)
3) oh so sweet
4) wow ! as long as one keeps bouncing back - its ok
wont say anonymous - :-)
and who may you be?
ReplyDeletewont say anonymous :-)
ReplyDeleteok, I guess we'll have to live with that!
ReplyDelete