I wonder about you
Sometimes
I miss your poetry
Sometimes
I long to hear you
Sometimes
I crave for completion
Sometimes
Only
Sometimes
Every year, I think about you. Not too many times, but consistently, a few times. And each time I am not sure how I should feel. There is a vague sense of loss, a subtle tinge of abandonment, a painful realisation of independence. But mostly, there is just a numb nothingness. Who were you? I am not even sure I remember your face. Your smile, yes. Your eyes, too. But in pieces, in context. I can't imagine your reaction in a new situation. I can't see you as you may have become. I can only see the frozen moments that I have embalmed in my head. I wonder if you feel the need to see me. If you imagine what it may feel like to talk to me now. If you wish you had known me all this time. If I am even a real person to you. If you have convinced yourself that I don't exist. Perhaps it isn't as simple as moving on, as erasing, as avoiding. Maybe it's an intense removal, a complete denial. I don't hate you. I don't love you. It's an absence of anything ta...
Sometimes it happens like this: What we fall for is our own idealized version of the person (and the not the person, as he/she is, actually). This is not a result of our oblivion, but instead a result of our need - at the time.
ReplyDeleteOther times, the person MAKES US fall for them, by manifesting (wilfully) the person that we need to see the most. Paradoxically, this results not from our need, but our oblivion.
Which one do you think is easier to get over?
- ASnonymous
@ASnonymous- That's perfectly put.
ReplyDeleteZoya, you have to find your self first. Only then the centre of your universe is you. When this centre shifts from within to out, life becomes scattered and meaningless.
ReplyDeleteLiving, loving and longing - Life has knack of giving us all the opportunity to savour all of these.
Smile. Enjoy.
@ AS - definitely the second case. Because, when reality hits you, most people see sense and move on. In the first case, until you have that 'need' it can be very hard to let go off that image in your head!
ReplyDelete@Dead Man - First, its a funny thing to call someone a dead man... Whats your name? Second, refer to my latest post (What Next?) and you'll know that my center is safely within me :)!
@ Everyone in general - This is not about a boy... Just so we are clear :P