Sunday, 21 September 2014

"Heartbreak Warfare"

I can't explain to you in words what is unarticulated even in my head. You ask me questions, plainly, innocently. You demand answers, animatedly, angrily. I cry, because thats all I can do.

You wonder why I seem so numb, so impossible to break into, so hard to comprehend. I try to talk to you, through my eyes. I send you words, without using my voice. I almost touch you and slowly pull back. I scream in pitch-less silence. I hope you will connect the erratic dots and make sense of the imperfection. I plead with fate to let you into my mind, for one moment.

I can see that I am speaking in languages that are almost unintelligible to you. I sense that my imploring is having close-to-no impact on you. I know that we are trying much harder than we should be.

I hear our laughter, and tear it down to its naked essence. I hold our memories and turn them upside down, one at a time, gawking at points that turned into today.

Were we in parallel universes, unaware of our own misgivings? Was the truth so down repressed that it could never pelt stony-reality in our face? Is this all we were meant to be?


5 comments:

  1. If it didnt work out it still was love it was just not the right time for two beings to be together in love but still it was love .

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  2. Omg, this is too good! I think I am in love with you

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  3. Few people, truly very few can arrive at insights by an act of solitary introspection. Then there are those, for whom the act of writing is cathartic; it gives them clarity that they seek. Unfortunately, the universe of these people is also small. Very small. And finally, there is the rest of us, for whom the antidote to confusion is a conversation. The act of talking things out, with vulnerability and courage, and without the fear of judgment and exploitation, does lead to clarity.

    When you say, "... what is un-articulated even in my head," I wonder if you are allowing your respect for complexity to cloud your natural ability to resolve. (Notice the choice of my words. I did not say "complexity"; I said, "your respect for complexity"). I wonder if you are confusing your unwillingness to resolve with unresolveability, a la Kurt Gödel.

    I relate to the feeling of "...what is unarticulated even in my head." But invariably, a good conversation sorts it out. Try it!

    Look, I am commenting only on the ONE sentence of your blog - the first sentence. The rest of your post has less to do with you and more to do with the "other party" (the kind that asks questions, i.e., he/she/your-own-mind, or the kind that just lets you be, i.e., it/soul/God). Unless I know who (or at least what kind) the other party is, or even if there is another party - other than your own mind, it is hard to comment.

    Great piece of prose, I must say.

    AnL

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  4. But don't we all deserve to have our silences understood ?

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  5. i cry when she sings
    i find harmony in her words
    i celebrate when i see her paint us
    but i silently whisper what i feel n she tends to carelessly miss it.

    disguise initials

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