Do you see what you see?

Usually I don't like to explain my posts but there are too many people that questioned this one in the first few moments of posting it. So here's a disclaimer. This isn't a post about understanding "me" as in, the author. This is a post about understanding "me" as it could be, anyone, in any relationship. I would like to believe the "me" and "you" can be used interchangeably. 

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And then it all slowly adds up. All the seemingly meaningless symbols come together and make a pattern that is comprehensible. 

Am I the selfish person you sometimes see? Am I the anger that comes across as ruthless? Am I the manipulator who always gets their way? Am I the liar you confront occasionally? Am I the version of me that is easy to stereotype?

Or is my complex mind and its non-linear decision making comprehensible to you? Do you understand how I can be so enraged by something and be able to laugh about it only a few moments later? Do you see my nonchalance and assume that I don’t care? Do you hear the anguish in my silence? Do you believe that the vacuum actually signifies peace?  

Do you look at me and worship what you see? Do you rub your eyes in disbelief, cross out your thoughts in a daze? Do you wonder how innocence and wisdom co-exist? Do you imagine that you would be able to draw out every last drop of definition and make me yours? Do you imagine what it would mean to understand? 

Or do you stop staring the moment you hit the bright light? Do you close the door and hope you never have to answer the soul searching? Do you pretend I was a lesser being and write me off as inconsequential? Do you tell yourself that regret is passé? 

Do you see what you see? 

Can you take all the jagged shards and hold them, even if they hurt? Can you look beyond the dismal pretense and acknowledge what you nearly feel?