There is something to be said about a vicious circle. Always starting differently, but ending the same way.
When I reached the dead end, one more time, I knew I had a choice to make. I could choose to shut all doors, cut all lines of communication, raise those walls and run with all the air in my lungs. Or I could turn back and carefully retread that messy, painful and destructive path, one more time.
I know I ran. I know I was an escapist and I know it was the right decision.
Its almost amusing how all my life, my insane need to protect myself has made me the type of person who always runs, very very fast. Does that make me a coward? Maybe it does. Does that pain less? It most certainly does.
So, I know there might be regret. I know there might be doubt. But I know that I'll be safe. And I know that safety will be enough.