Skip to main content

I know

I have partly accepted your silence. Your choice to ignore, to pretend, to forget.

I have mostly embodied your distance. Your sudden change of mind, your near indifference.

I have nearly understood your intention. Your unbecoming smile, your blank eyes.

I have barely felt your unending discomfort. Your unrelenting confusion, your one-more goodbye.

Comments

  1. Have you ever watched the movie, "The Little Minister?" It is a 1930's classic starring Katharine Hepburn. It is based on a 1890's novel by J. M. Barrie. Actually, the movie was either the 4th or the 5th film-rendition of the novel (the earlier ones were all silent movies). I got hooked on to these during the 1989 Berlin Film festival and watched them back to back. There is a line in the novel that I can never forget:

    "Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love un-returned has its rainbow."

    Anonymous-no-longer

    PS: By the way, your expression in poetry is simply beautiful. Very well written.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love un-returned has its rainbow."

    Thats nice

    ReplyDelete
  3. You can’t ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple Earthly event. Coincidence. That’s all anything really is, nothing more then coincidence. There are no miracles, there’s no such thing as fate, and nothing is meant to be…

    P.S. Watch 500 Days of Summer, if you havent already.

    5-D

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ok 5-D,tell me who you are!

    I have seen 500 days of summer and really enjoyed it

    ReplyDelete
  5. I dont think we ever really knew or know each other.

    My identity is futile, only my thoughts are meaningful! Your identity is futile, only the words I read are meaningful. Our obsession with clarity often distants us from the bigger picture, I am nothing more than a just another reader of your words.

    P.S. You related more to the girl or the guy in 500 DoS?

    5-D

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes. However, don't you think this information sharing is imbalanced? I know it's a choice I made by making my blog public but I still crave to at least be able to read your thoughts like you get to read mine.

    Overall.. More with the girl.. But I have related with the boy at many points in my life as well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Does the sign off 5 D have anything to do with school

    ReplyDelete
  8. I choose to keep my thoughts and words concealed, as most of them are / were written with a specific emotion or person in mind. I am not as gifted as you, neither am I as courageous as you - since I choose to render my very ordinary and normal life through the lens of anonymity.

    I am not a secret admirer, I am not an infatuaos friend, I am not a friend altogether, I am just a passer by relishing over a thought.

    I have never been able to relate with the girl, always have been the guy :( ,though recently I have come to appreciate the girl more than ever. Her resolve to accept her gut feeling. That one day she just knew!

    and Yes, it is from school.

    5-D

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Birthing Rumi - Part 1

The next many blog posts will chronicle my most significant journey yet - of becoming and being Rumi's mama. I considered starting a separate blog but then decided against it. While there is a lot to be said, my identity as his mom is not separate from the rest of me. In being his mama, I have become more of me. And in embracing this with the rest of me, and finding and resolving the contradictions, I have felt more myself than ever before. So I chose to put this here. Where the rest of my life and memories live.   “This is pressure, not pain.” A simple mantra I kept repeating as I went through labour. My waters broke at 3.30 am as Loi (the father to be) and I binge watched Bridgerton. I was one week overdue at this point. We had tried nearly every trick in the book to get baby out. The latest was eating a spicy labour inducing burger (yep, there is such a thing), taking a bumpy ride and eating extremely spicy daal. I had been having contractions (false/real who knows?) for weeks. 

Rollercoaster - Part 5

After what felt like an endless night, we woke up relaxed. And then my brain panicked. They hadn't called from the NICU since 5.45 am. Rumi was waking ever 2-3 hours on an average. So at 9.30 am that could have only meant that they didn't get the memo from the night nurses and demand feeding was again under contention.  Thankfully mom had come back to the hospital and I felt better when Lohit offered to go to the NICU to speak to the nurses and also understand if and when they would shift us to Paediatrics so we could be with Rumi in the same room. Lohit wrote to me that he had met the Paediatrician and they were open to shifting us. However they weren't sure if they would be able to find a room. By now I had begun to question my decision to not buy a breast pump and not read up enough on this topic. So when when hospital offered to get me to meet a lactation consultant, we jumped at the opportunity. She helped me understand how to pump and also got me to do it in front of

The Downward Spiral - Part 2

I woke up to Rumi’s shrieks. No one warns you how terrible that first howling can feel. A helplessness and an extreme desire to protect can overcome you, leaving you unsettled. They were looking for a vein in the poor baby’s hands, arms, feet. Probing and poking. They didn’t explain what they were doing. And the otherwise overconfident me, felt too tiny to ask. I thought they were doing what needed doing and it wasn’t my place to ask.  (So much for all the reading and preparing I had done. When the time came to apply my learnings, it was like someone said "statue" and there I was, stuck). Since when did the healthcare system have more power over the decisions for my own child than I did? Well, to a newly born parent of only a few hours, silence seemed like the only option. Turns out they were trying to get blood for a culture test to rule out an infection. Rumi’s temperature hadn’t yet normalised. What followed was a flurry of nurses and fast paced conversations.  I don't